#TheCurvyGirl Podcast

Episode 5: Am I Good Enough ?

#TheCurvyGirl Podcast - Episode 5 - Am I Good Enough_

 

Hello everyone, 

Have you ever felt like you aren’t good enough ? You feel the constant need to show the world who you really are, however all you feel is like a failure – Then this week’s podcast is for.

We’re all intelligent in our own way. Howard Gardner is a well known psychologist who is best known for his theory of  Multiple forms of intelligence. Sir Ken Robinson is an advisor in education and talks about how to make education more interesting and inclusive for everyone.

Their work give an in-depth take on why so many people feel like failure – no one is dumb,  we’re all  intelligent in our own way. Sadly, not everyone is educated and taught to understand their form of intelligence & to use this to the best of their abilities to achiever success in life.

If you’re interested in learning more about multiple intelligence & the change that is required in the education system, then scroll down after listening to the podcast and watch the two videos that are attached.

You’re intelligent in your own way. Just because you don’t fall into the standard definition of success & intelligence, doesn’t mean you aren’t. No two people are the same.

Click play to listen to this weeks podcast:

 

Transcript

Hey guys and welcome back. Its Episode 5 and this week we talk about the pressure to have an identity of our own, the role of the education system, parents, society and the importance of having strong- genuine friendships. Yes it’s a heavy topic.

So lets head on over.

Hi guys the CBSE board exam results are out and we’ve heard students getting 499/500 , wow I am amazed and happy for them.

However, today’s topic isn’t about how to score that much. Rather the reason behind why students across the world are under constant pressure. While I believe that some amount of stressing is good for us, it shapes us, I also believe the pressure that the society puts on students these days is crazy and unrealistic.

Children are expected to score a certain grade, to be considered intelligent, I disagree. Your marks don’t define the kind of person you are. This alone cannot be a barometer on the basis of which we judge someone’s intelligence. In fact according to years of research there are multiple forms of intelligence. To name them:

  • Verbal Linguistic
  • Logical Mathematical
  • Visual Spatial
  • Musical Rhythmic
  • Body Kinesthetic
  • Naturalist
  • Intrapersonal
  • Interpersonal
  • Existential

Look at the photo for a brief understanding of each one it.

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Image via: St.Catherine Family Faith Foundation

Each one of us is a combination of the above. In some of us the logical mathematical is high, while in others musical rhythmic. Once we understand what are strongest intelligence is, we can use it to achieve so much more in life.

But, are we taught this in school? If not, why aren’t we?

If society wants to see successful humans, then maybe we need to take a step back and review our methods of teaching. And again marks aren’t everything.

We stress so much on kids having a plan by the time they are in Grade 12. We drill it into their heads that they need to know exactly what to do and in many cases decide what’s best for them, without asking them what they want to do.

Don’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree – sadly that is exactly what happens. Since we think we know what’s best for them, we fail to let them discover their own talents.

And this has many psychological repercussions. One mistake and we deem ourselves a failure; we think we won’t amount to anything. And social media definitely feeds into this – Adding fuel to fire. It feeds into the fact that everyone except me has their life together and are successful. I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. No one has their life together; most of us don’t feel our talents are valuable enough.

I sure have felt that.

I have worked in the corporate world for 3 years and I never felt like my work was amounting to anything, I felt like a failure and felt I wasn’t qualified enough to do what I was doing. Though, it was much after I left did I realize that in fact I was qualified to do the work and I am intelligent – just that my form of intelligence doesn’t match that of some my colleague.

Now you might ask Lakshmi, so what is your combination of intelligence? Starting from strongest to weakest – Mine is:

  • Body Kinesthetic
  • Musical Rhythmic
  • Visual Spatial
  • Intrapersonal/Interpersonal – I give them equal importance
  • Verbal Linguistic
  • Existential
  • Naturalist
  • Logical Mathematical

Since my mathematical capabilities aren’t the best I try to use the first three forms of intelligence to grasp and understand the material.

So please don’t consider yourself a failure and give up so soon. Some of the most successful people in this world took time to get where they are and they used their strengths to support their weakness.

Let’s do a little activity:

Take out a piece of paper and draw a line in between. On one side write down your strengths and on the other your weaknesses. Done? now read them once again and ask yourself how can my strengths support my weaknesses?

Write it down and keep going back to it every time you feel like you aren’t good enough or when you feel success isn’t your cup of tea.

Success is everyone’s cup of tea.

One of the main reasons I started this podcast was because more than anyone else I needed to hear these words I write. We’re our greatest teachers and trust me the answers are usually there within us. We just need to learn to get out of our own way – be still and listen.

Another very important part to success is having your family, friends, and people who wish only good for you, in your circle. I have days where I am scared and if I can actually achieve the goals I’ve set for myself. I feel like a failure and afraid I won’t be able to handle everything.

The first thing to do is, cut us some slack. You are a human being; you’re bound to feel like what you are doing isn’t amounting to anything and that’s ok.

This podcast for example, when I sit to plan and write this podcast, I usually have that fear that this week won’t be good enough, but I still power through. And the feedback I get from all of you is what keeps me going.

Secondly, make peace with your weaknesses. I’m not the best at juggling multiple things – I had to make peace with this fact. Make peace with the fact that you aren’t like everyone else. There are certain things others will be able to do which you won’t and vice versa. Respect that- make peace with it and see how you can use it to the best of your abilities.

When you feel down don’t sulk and stay there. Pick up the phone and talk or message a friend. Friends are awesome – they pick you up when you need it the most and are there sometimes there to smack some sense into you. When we’re in the eye of the storm, it makes it difficult for us to see and sort things out. By sharing it with someone, they can shed light or give you a different perspective to the entire situation.

Like I said in an earlier podcast having a power circle is so important. They lift you up when you need it the most; they help power you through some not so great days. I am so lucky to have a wonderful power circle. In fact another reason this podcast came into existence because of one of my power circle darlings. Her honest conversation with me was one of the triggers to start The Curvy Girl Podcast.

Please don’t consider yourself a failure just because you weren’t able to achieve something the first, second or tenth time around. Keep trying. Your failures teach you- every thing you learn, in the long run amounts to something. Your failure and lessons are the foundations to your success.

Besides success isn’t just when you earn and live in a big lavish house, it’s also the number of lives you impact in a good way. And I believe if you can help just one person, you have created a chain that will impact many other lives, so Kudos to you.

Your success should be on your own terms – what makes you happy – you define success. Not something the world designs for you.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s podcast and realize how amazing you are. In next week’s podcast, I talk about setting your vision, working with your strengths & weaknesses.

If you have any questions, leave them in the comments section below.

And I’ll catch you guys next week.

Bye.

Continue reading “Episode 5: Am I Good Enough ?”

#TheCurvyGirl Podcast

Episode 4- The Gift Of Our Flaws

#TheCurvyGirl Podcast - Episode 4 - The Gift Of Our Flaws

Hey Guys,

It’s episode 4 and this week I talk about the gift of our flaws. Yes you heard it right. Our flaws are a gift. It’s weird right? You must be scratching your head and wondering how is this possible. What’s wrong with you Lakshmi, but trust me they really are.

Click play to listen to this week’s podcast

 

Transcript

In this weeks podcast we talk about our flaws and how important they actually are . So let’s head over.

I know most of us run from our flaws. We prefer hiding them rather than showing them off to the world. We are scared of our flaws. The most common thought’s being, “People will think I’m weird, no one will want to be friends with me,” and the list goes on.

I’m no different. I don’t like accepting my flaws. I try covering it up as much as I can. Embarrassed by it at times.

Last week I went and saw a movie, “A wrinkle In Time.” A really nice movie , that touched on the topic of accepting our flaws. The more you try to run away from them, the more you try to cover it up, the more you’re pushing in the real you. In the movie the lead actress feels she doesn’t fit in at school, people call her weird and occasionally so she gets bullied. But through the course of them movie something changes in her. Reese Witherspoon (I love her) is one of the astral travelers and her gift to Meg was the “Gift of her flaws.” So when I first heard that, I thought, “seriously our flaws can be a gift?” And I bet Meg in the movie at that time thought the same thing.

In a lot of situations it is what we perceive as our flaws, actually save us at the end of the day. In the movie, Meg’s greatest flaw was, she didn’t trust anything easily, or anyone easily. She would question every single thing. Deep inside this caused her to feel like an outcast, outsider. The more she felt it, the more she emitted that energy out to the world.

The world picks up on your energy.

People pick up on your vibes. When we lie people know, when we are truthful people know, People can surely sense the kind of person you are – more of this in another podcast.

So What are my flaws:

  • So Like meg I don’t take people at face value
  • I ask a lot of questions
  • I take a hell load of time to open up to people
  • Procrastination

I use to think these were bad things, I tried to bury them. I tried to become someone I wasn’t. Let’s get honest. I am an introvert – and I can’t get chatty with everyone I meet, am very selective on who I am open up to. However, lately I realized this is a gift. Our flaws are our gifts, please remember that. If you sit down and really think about it, our flaws work perfectly with the situations and circumstances that come into our life. They save us from a lot of pain in the long run.

I don’t trust easily – but I do believe in vibes. The vibes that each on of us emit out. A lot of times people say something, but actually feel something else altogether. I pick up on those unsaid things – again this would confuse me earlier. I would think something’s wrong with me. A few months back, I realized that this gift yet again saved me from a lot of pain. So be aware and attuned to what people say.

I am the queen of procrastination. There are times when I literally need to push myself to get something done. I just think procrastination has such a bad rep. Well in some ways it really doesn’t help you, but sometimes it’s just what you need. Procrastination is your body’s way of asking you to slow down and re-evaluate.

So I procrastinated to study, looking at my books I was just getting pissed off and was trying my best to postpone it. The main reason being, I was like anyways even if I do study, I doubt I’m going to retain anything. I’m going to bum the exams anyways.

I kept look at the books and wondered rather than giving up, what different can I do? How can I make this more understandable and interesting? I took this time to re-evaluate and jumped right back in with a game plan this time around – Make things more concise and interactive. And this is actually helping me now.

So why not take the opportunity to ask yourself , “Why are you procrastinating right now?” You usually have the answer. Then work on coming up with a new game plan.

When it comes to body image, what we see as our flaw is actually what makes us unique. Imagine everyone having the exact same body shape. How would that work out?

I was born with a very tiny cleft lip. As a kid, that use to bother me and I noticed the first thing people would ask me was, what happened, omg did you fall and hurt yourself, no no I can see a bump on your lips and that would annoy me even more. I was scared to talk to people because I felt I was being judged. But the minute I decided to accept that yes it is a part of me and there is actually nothing I can do to change it, things changed. People wouldn’t really ask me, now it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence and even when they do, I don’t care anymore. Why? Because I have, accepted that part of me. The minute you accept your flaws, you gain confidence.

What we deem as flaws is actually a gift, what we deem us unpleasant is the universe actually pushing you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes things may not work out the way you wanted it to, but they always work out the way that is best for you.

These flaws are there to push us out of our safety bubble and at the same time to protect us. So rather than belittling them, why not give them credit for where you are in life.

Embrace who you are, everything else falls into place.

I hope you guys enjoyed this week’s podcast. If you have any questions leave them in the comments section below.

I’ll catch you guys next week. Bye.

Lots of love ❤

Lakshmi