#TheCurvyGirl Podcast

Episode 3: The Comparison Trap

#TheCurvyGirl Podcast - Episode 3 - The Comparison Trap

Hey Guys,

Yaaaay! It’s Episode 3.

Have you ever felt the need to constantly compare yourself to someone else? Wondering if you had what they have, then maybe things would work out better for you.

Well I’m here to remind you that comparison doesn’t get you too far. It definitely delays in turning our dreams to reality.

Click play to listen to this week’s podcast

Are you also stuck in the Comparison Trap ?

Transcript

 

I call comparison Perfectionisms twin and procrastinations younger sibling. Why, you ask ? Listen on.

How often do we fall into this trap of comparing ourselves to others.

It’s so easy for our mind to switch, to discredit all the hard work we put into ourselves and focus on someone else.

We don’t spare anyone.

And what’s the first thing we usually tend to compare? Our looks.

If someone loses more weight than us, we compare and belittle yourself! We curse yourself for not working out enough. If maybe instead of working out for 1 hr I should have worked out for 2 hrs , or I’m not on the right diet, I need to change my diet again.

When someone seems to be living the dream, we compare. I wish it would come that easy to me, we say.

I’ve done all of this.

We all have the image of how we want ourselves to be, how we want people to see us and when we see someone else reflecting that back to us, we begin to compare. We flip out. I know I do.

So let me be real,

I’ve compared my body to someone who I’ve seen down the street . I’ve compared my body to a friend of mine – it does crop up occasionally. Wow she is beautiful and so put together. That dress looks so nice on her, how does she do it?

I look at women holding senior positions and wonder, am I smart enough, can I reach their position some day?

Here’s a story:

When I was working, this was about 2 years ago. A colleague of mine, absolutely perfect, she looked gorgeous. And every time I would see her, my brain would automatically switch to comparing myself to her. I would always wonder how does she do it so well, how does she know everything? How is she so perfect?

So I sat down one day and really thought about it. And I realized that you know she must have put in a lot of effort into the work she’s doing for her to actually know it now, for her to actually master it. And how does she look like that? Well that’s how god made her, that’s how her body is. There is nothing I can do to change that or she.

So I decided to sit down sat down and journal and it’s through journaling did I realize that I don’t need to be like anyone else, none of us do. Again going back to episode 1 there is no such thing as perfect. We all make mistakes; it’s how we learn. I mean come on, if we all ended up being the same what’s the fun.

My body is fine, yes it takes longer than others for me to lose weight, ok I will never be a size 4 in my life, and I’m honestly fine with that. That doesn’t mean I don’t look good.

It’s so easy for our mind to trick us and say we aren’t good enough; it’s the easiest to start comparing ourselves to someone else. But let me remind you, by doing so you’re doing a huge dis-service to yourself. Comparison doesn’t get you too far; It’s perfectionisms twin and procrastinations younger sibling.

It helps you delay the action that you need to take in order to achieve that dream of yours. Be it wanting to become the next CEO/CFO/MD/Teacher/model. And it delays your of achieving that size that you wanted or those few pounds or kgs you wanted to lose.

So here are two simple steps we can all follow when we feel we are going down that comparison path:

  • I’m an Individual; unique in my own way: Remind yourself this. Every time that, “I’m not good enough” thought creeps up, every time you start comparing yourself to someone else – repeat this. No two people have the same journey, our destination might be same, but the way we get there, is always different.
  • All I see is the final product: That person you are comparing yourself to and allowing jealousy and comparison to take over, yup all we see is the final product, all we see is their stage performance. Honestly, unless the person is close to you, you’re never going to see all the hard work and little-little steps they had to take to achieve that. Step back and think about this for a moment- when you achieve that goal which you were striving towards for so long or lose that weight – How much of work did we put in to get to there, a whole lot I believe.

I know it’s tough and I also know, this isn’t something we’ll ever rid ourselves of. But we can always put in that little effort to be a little more conscious of our thoughts and give ourselves more credit for our achievements

Now it’s your turn, let me know where in your life do you tend to compare the most? How can you change that voice? What are some of your achievements? It’s good to celebrate our achievements with everyone. Leave it in the comments below.

I’ll catch you guys next week, Bye !

Lots of Love,

Lakshmi ❤

 

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